 | ShatterStorm Productions
|
| ShatterStorm Productions
|
Primary Character(s): Kat Corrigan
Disclaimers: See Index page for full disclaimer info
++ Katherine "Kat" Corrigan ++
"Whatcha doing, Kat?"
I turn at the softly curious voice to see three sets of wide eyes staring at me. With a grin, I motion them into the shaded little gazebo Dace built to make the move more agreeable for mom and Alex. I'd taken it over almost immediately for the privacy it's given me to continue my studies, both privately and with Alex.
Of course, Fawn bullies her way in first. Emily may be the Sentinel, but Fawn is anything but a shrinking violet, and she always makes her presence known. The last one in is little Cubby, holding hands with my baby sister Rose. Emily's hand snakes out to grab Fawn's shoulder before the younger girl steps across the string barrier of my circle.
"I was doing some meditating," I finally reply, moving to turn off the iPod Dace bought me for Christmas. Without really thinking about it, I start to pull my hair back into a single braid.
"What's meditating?" Of course, Cubby would ask. He's the quietest of these three new kids in my life, and seems to be left out a lot where his twin's concerned. I like him. He reminds me of Nick in a way. I miss Nick a lot, but I know he's been pretty busy back in San Francisco, too.
"Meditating is…" I pause, trying to figure out how to explain this to such small kids. "You know how you can see the pictures in your mind when someone reads you a story? Like a movie in your head?" All three of the older children nod enthusiastically; Rose just smiles sleepily and curls up against Cubby even more. "Well, meditating is kind of like that, especially when someone else is giving you ideas of what to look at in your mind. But that's not the only kind of meditating."
"There's more?" Now Emily's intrigued, as well. I'm still not sure about Fawn; I'm pretty sure she's interested, but she's trying to hide it.
"Oh yeah. Meditating can also be like quiet time when I need to really think about something important."
"Like a time out?"
I grin at the innocently asked question. "No, not quite. It's not having to think about something bad I've done, though I suppose it could be that, too. It's more like when I have a really tough decision to make and I'm not sure what to do, or there's something that's confusing me and I want to understand it." I consider my next words, watching their faces to see that they're still following what I'm saying. "Like when we moved here from San Francisco. It was something that we needed to do, but it was hard to make that decision because we'd all lived there for so long. I'd lived there my whole life."
"And you are so very old and wise," Cubby says in a voice that sounds completely enthralled with what I was saying.
"Oh if my mother heard you, she'd be cracking up right now, kiddo," I retort and roll my eyes.
"Your mother has no sense of humor," Fawn pipes up with a grimace on her face. "That is what Unca Dace says."
I nearly choke from holding back the laughter at her words. Oh, I've heard Dace say that very thing, and to my mother's face. But to hear it from this little girl only makes it all the funnier. "Well, Dace is right and wrong about my mom. She's just very hard to get used to sometimes." I grin and stand up to stretch a bit before I start to release the wards I set for my circle. I can feel their eyes on me. Not Rose's, partially because she's asleep, and partially because she's grown up around the ritual spaces Alex and I have erected over the past couple of years now. Mom finally believed Alex and Derek's warnings and let Alex train me when I started getting spillover from Alex's visions.
As I turn to face the East to give my thanks to the Air guardians, young Emily softly murmurs to her little bookends. "She's telling the spirits thank you for protecting her. That's very 'portant, so we hafta be very quiet." I grin at her in thanks, then begin to mouth the words, still feeling just a bit self-conscious in front of an audience.
In no time, I've released the energies in the circle and roll up the string to store it away in my travel kit. I keep my little tea light burning, 'cause I like the calming influence of it after I've finished up a meditation session. The entire time, I can feel all three kids watching me, drinking in what I'm doing like little sponges. Well, they're drinking it in when they're not whispering amongst themselves.
"Kat?" Emily finally asks after I hear a pointed request for her to ask from Fawn. "Fawn wants to know what you were doing. An' Cubby wants to know if you'll teach us a meditation?"
There's nothing like a difficult question or two from a couple of three year old kids.
"Well, Emily, you were right when you said I was thanking the spirits for protecting me. I was releasing the circle. Do you guys know what that means?" Only Emily nods, and that's with hesitation. Great. This isn't what I signed up for when I decided to follow this part of my heritage, is it? I chew at my lower lip for a moment before I answer her. "Okay, um, let's try this. There are some people who believe in a lot of gods and goddesses, and there are some people who believe in the Christian God. Then there are people like the Native Americans who believe that everything has a spirit. But all of them believe that if they pay homage to whatever they believe, they'll have some kind of inner peace, good health, a better life, something like that."
"Oh! Like Mommy believes in the Goddess? We say prayers to the Goddess sometimes."
I smile at the reference. "Yep, it's like that. Now some people are special, and they have special gifts. One of mine is called the Sight." I scratch at the back of my neck, trying to figure out how to explain this to these kids. It's not something I've been very open about. I never thought anyone would understand, outside of my family in the Legacy. I mean, Monica guessed it, but that's different. I haven't even told Dace yet. I'm not even sure how to explain it to her. Mom's always taught me to be quiet about my gifts, that people won't understand them. But Dace has powers, too. This whole Sentinel thing is different, but the same in some ways.
"What's the Sight, Kat?" Again, Cubby is the most curious of the three, and I'm not exactly surprised.
"Well, Cubby, the Sight is like seeing things happen before they happen."
"Like Raven's visions?"
I can't help but laugh at that. The Disney show makes fun of psychics, but if it helps these little kids understand what I'm talking about? I'm all for it. "Not quite, but similar. Mine are a little different. They're usually more vague, and not that easy to understand. It's why I meditate, to try to understand what I've seen. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. And when I'm confused, I ask for help from Alex or my mom, and from the spirits."
Cubby nods sagely and says, "Em'ly sees spirits."
Okay, I wasn't expecting that from the boy. Turning to face the older girl, I see her smiling shyly, waiting for my response. "You do?"
"Uh-huh. Mostly just my Mimi." She must read the confusion on my face, because she quickly adds, "Mimi was my first other mommy. Before Kryn."
"But she dieded," Cubby supplies with a sad look.
"Dieded is not a word, Cubby," Fawn reprimands him.
I stretch out a hand to run my fingers through the riot of red curls. "I'm sorry you lost your other mom, Emily. I lost my dad and my brother when I was just a couple years older than you are. I used to see their spirits, too."
Her face lights up at my words; apparently they were exactly the approval she needed. "Really? Do they talk to you like Mimi talks to me?"
"No, not anymore," I reply, feeling that loss sharply all of a sudden. It's a loss I haven't felt in several years, and especially not since we moved to Las Vegas four months ago. "They haven't talked to me for many years now. But you know what? That's okay. I have them in my heart and in my memories, and I can call that up anytime I miss them."
Emily wiggles away from Fawn to get up and wrap her arms around me in a tight hug. "Then you are very special to be able to remember them. I don't really remember my Mimi, but I have her visits."
I can't find anything wrong in what she's said, and I return her hug with a touch of melancholy. "And you are very special because you do have those visits. Keep them special, because they are, okay?" She nods and I grin. "Cool."
"Kat?" Cubby asks. "Can you still teach us to have quiet thoughts? Or am I pushy like Fawn?"
"Cubby! Not nice!" Fawn pouts.
"Sorry, Fawn," he whispers guiltily and tries to reach over to touch her, but is hindered by Rose's sleeping form. I reach down to grab my sister and watch as Cubby sidles to Fawn's side, resting his head on her shoulder. "I sorry, Fawn. I was naughty."
"S'okay, Cubby," she replies, stroking his head. "S'pos, Cubby."
"S'pos, Fawn."
I swallow hard against the lump in my throat. Connor and I were almost that close once upon a time. Rose and I will never be that close, because we're so far apart in age. And when Emily moves to wrap her arms around both of them, I realize that family is who you make it to be, not just who you're related to. It gives me hope that things will be good for me and Rose.
"Okay, if you guys want, I can try to do a really basic meditation for you. But we're gonna need some pillows for you, because sometimes you can fall asleep when you're trying to meditate. So maybe we should go inside, okay? Plus, I can put Rose down for a proper nap."
"I can take Rose in and bring out some pillows, Kat." Alex's voice scares the crap out of me, but luckily I don't wake up Rose.
"Alex, um…"
She smiles that warm, open smile that always makes me feel better. "It's okay, Kat. I was just coming out to check on Rose. I didn't want her to be a pain in the butt for any of you kids." When she comes closer to take the sleeping girl from my arms, she leans in and murmurs, "That was a really nice explanation you gave them, Kat. I'm very proud of you. You've come a long way in your studies."
Pleased at her praise, I still can't help but frown. "But it wasn't exactly right, Alex."
"For a five-year-old and two three-year-olds, it was exactly what they needed to know." She glances over at the trio of kids and smirks conspiratorially at me. "And if we get pillows for them, I bet your 'meditation' will put them out, too."
I grin and nod. "You're probably right."
She straightens up and heads toward our bungalow. "I'll bring out pillows for you three so Kat can help you with your meditation, okay?"
"Fank you!" They chorus, and giggle happily as they wait for Alex to return.
I'm a little surprised when I see Dace bringing out the pillows and some blankets. She grins at me as she hands out the gear to the kids amidst a round of happy hellos. "Alex told me what you were doing, and I was curious to see how it goes. Do you mind if I watch?"
"Um, I suppose not."
She tugs lightly at my braid and gets settled on the bench across from me. "If it's too much, I'll just head out. But I figure if they fall asleep, I can keep watch on 'em while they nap and let you get away for a bit."
"Thanks, Dace," I reply gratefully before turning to the kids. I find they've all spread out their blankets and pillows so it looks like they're in sleeping bags. "You guys ready?"
"Yes!" They all reply.
"Okay, now close your eyes and listen to my voice. I'm gonna tell you a little story and you see if you can picture it in your minds. But you have to be very quiet; because if you make any noise, you might make someone's pictures go away, okay?" They all nod and close their eyes as I share a grin with Dace. "Imagine you're standing in the middle of a beautiful forest, with big pine trees all around you, and a sparkling lake right in front of you…"
