 | ShatterStorm Productions
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| ShatterStorm Productions
|
Primary Character(s): Pai-gow
Disclaimers: See Index page for full disclaimer info
++ Pai ++
I've never thought badly of Michael or Gabe for getting us out of Hong Kong. I mean, there were people that were after us, after me really. Leslie just went along with whatever I told him to. If it weren't for the fact that he'd been taken and tagged for consort duties like I was, he'd never have crossed my path. He'd have gone on to be something special, something important.
Something other than with me. I don't remember anything but living on the streets in Hong Kong, begging and stealing for survival. When I was old enough, I got roped into the sex trades. I was cursed; or blessed, depending on your point of view; with looking older than I actually was. Then again, I don't even know how old I really am. I'd never had a birthday to celebrate, or a family to celebrate it with. Not until I met Leslie, then Michael, and Gabe, and KC. And even then, they had to create me, and Leslie, a whole new life to get us the fuck out of Hong Kong.
"Sangria?"
I blink at the softness of her voice, using the name I rarely get called anymore. The only name I've ever known and really called my own. A pang of regret shoots through me as I realize that name is all I have to honestly call my own, and I'm not even sure if that's truly mine. I know nothing about my past, other than the few things I remember about living on the streets of Hong Kong. Well, that and Leslie's uncle buying me as a gift supposedly for Leslie, but really for himself. I was never happier to get away from a job.
"Yes, ma'am?" I finally reply, sensing her curiosity will turn into disappointment if I don't answer her.
"You're awfully quiet today. Something on your mind?"
"Pai-gow, as usual," I reply flippantly, falling back on the sarcasm that always kept me relatively safe in the past, and tap my temple. "Nothing of consequence, remember?"
"You're lying, and I don't care for lies."
I can't help flinching at the disappointed tone of her voice. I owe everything I have to Michael and Gabe, and I shouldn't be pissing it in the wind like this. "Sorry, ma'am. I just don't know how to explain what it is."
"That's acceptable," she replies and smiles at me. "Why don't you tell me why you're putting yourself down again? I assume it has something to do with your mood?"
With a shrug, I nod, and suddenly I can't keep the words in. "I want to go to school."
Michael blinks at me in surprise. Obviously she wasn't expecting this from me. I don't often get her like this. "Okay," she replies slowly, as if still chewing on that tidbit I tossed her. "We can work on that. May I ask what brought this on?"
"You don't think I can do it, do you?"
Her eyes narrow slightly at my words, even though I've tried to disguise the slight accusation in my tone. "I didn't say that, did I? You know better than to put words in my mouth, Sangria. Whether I think you can do this or not isn't the question at hand. Now answer my question."
I squirm nervously in my seat, torn between wanting to rebel against her order and wanting to curl up against her and let it all out. I force myself to settle for some sort of middle ground. "It was seeing all those kids getting so excited about school. Everybody from Cassie on down to Emily was talking about going to school in one way or another. I've never been inside a school in my entire life, Michael, and I feel like I'm missing out on something important. I mean, I know you and Gabe had tutors brought in for me, and helped me get my GED and everything, but I feel like I'm missing something that I should be experiencing. I know I'm not all that smart--"
"Stop that, Pai!" she says harshly, grabbing at my wildly gesturing hands. "You are smart; you just apply it differently from other people. There's nothing wrong with being a little different."
I manage to wrestle one hand free and tug at my pale green hair with the blue tips. "Um, I'm more than a little different, I always have been. How many people do you know that grew up trading sex for survival, that don't even know where they came from or how old they are? I don't even know my real name."
Michael just nods and watches me for a long moment in silence. It makes me even more nervous when she does this, because I can never tell what she's thinking. "This isn't so much about school as it is about finding a way to belong, is it?"
I shake my head roughly and pull away to start pacing. "No! I know I don't belong. I accepted that a long time ago in Hong Kong. I'm nobody, nothing, Pai-gow, remember?"
I don't even get a chance to say anything else when she's got me pinned roughly against the wall. "That's enough of that, Sangria!" she growls in a low, dangerous voice, body pressing heavily against mine. "I didn't bust my ass to get you out of Hong Kong for that kind of attitude. And I'm quite certain Gabe would be rather upset to hear you saying that."
At the mention of Gabe's name, I feel the blood draining from my face. "Please don't say anything to him, ma'am. I'll do anything."
She snorts derisively at me. "You don't have a problem provoking me, but you'd sooner die than disappoint Gabriel? Perhaps he should be the one having this conversation with you, instead of me. Shall I call for him?"
I shake my head abruptly. "No! I'll -- I'll stop." She doesn't ease up on her pressure against my body. "Michael, please," I whine, not liking how traitorous my body is at the moment.
"Please what, Pai?" she practically purrs at me.
"No, this isn't what I want," I reply, pushing at her. "You're not playing fair! You're distracting me from what I was talking about."
With a pleased smile, she backs away, hands held up in a pose of surrender. "Good girl, Pai. You're actually serious about this school business. Good! Come sit down and we'll discuss it." I watch warily as she moves to sit on the couch again. Looking up to meet my gaze, Michael smiles broadly and beckons me closer by patting the cushion next to her. At my hesitation, she chuckles softly. "I won't try to distract you, Pai, I promise."
Still feeling a bit wary, I move to sit next to her, curling my legs up underneath me. "I do want to go to school, Michael. I'm not sure what I want to do, but I really want to go. But I know I can't. I don't have any kind of background to show that I should be allowed into college."
"If you're really serious about going to school, we'll do whatever it takes to get you into school. You've got your GED, which means you do have the right to higher education. We've futzed with your paperwork enough that you're considered an American citizen, so that shouldn't be an issue."
"But--"
"But nothing, Pai," she says in a far gentler tone than I remember hearing from her in a long time. "Do you want to go to college? Do you really want to put in the work to attend classes, do homework, exams, the whole lot of it? It would mean severely cutting down on your partying and working at the clubs."
I chew at my lower lip. I hadn't thought of that. But then again… "Leslie was so happy to go to cooking school. It made him so damned proud of himself to excel in that. I mean, look at how he and Puppy were sharing cooking stories and recipes at the baby naming ceremony. I want to have something like that, Michael. I want to have something I can accomplish, something I can feel proud about myself for. I just want to have something that makes me feel more like a responsible part of this little family we have. I mean, even Jo has a good job and Jamie's so good in school. I feel like I'm the loser in everything, that all I'm good at is partying and sex. And…" I hesitate in finishing the thought.
"And?"
"Sometimes I look at how little I do and I wonder why you even bothered taking me out of Hong Kong. It's not like I'm able to contribute a lot toward your business or anything like that. I mean, at least Leslie likes to cook, so he has that to work with. I'm just a fashionably dressed good time girl."
"You are much more than that, Pai, and you know it." I can hear that she's trying to keep her voice even, not lash out at me. And I'm not even trying to provoke her this time. It just happens. "You are a very good bartender and when you're working you get the most tips of any of the bartenders."
"Good time girl," I repeat with a sigh. "I mean, I like making drinks, but maybe there's something more for me out there."
"There's much more to it than just making drinks, Pai. You keep morale up when things get rough. And for being so visible, you've got a knack for blending in and becoming my eyes and ears in places I can't be. You're far more than just a good time girl, unless that's what you want. Got it?" She pauses, waiting for my nod, and tugs at my hair again. "So what do you want to study in college? Have you made any choices yet as to where you want to go? What you want to do?"
I pause then, considering her questions. "I'm not sure," I finally answer truthfully. "I hadn't really gotten that far. I was more worried about the whole paper trail thing, I guess."
She nods and strokes my cheek thoughtfully. "Tell you what. Why don't you look into a few schools in the area and see what they have to offer that might interest you. You could always take a culinary course or two, see if you like that as much as Boot does."
I shake my head emphatically. "No! I burn water, remember? Leslie doesn't allow me in his kitchen unless I'm getting poptarts or something to drink."
She chuckles and shakes her head. "Okay, forget culinary school. What else do you think you'd like to try?"
"I don't know," I whine. "I just don't know that I'm smart enough to do anything worthwhile."
"Pai, if it's something that really means a lot to you, then it's worthwhile." She pauses for a moment. "What about art? Do you think you'd like to give that a shot?"
I consider her question for a long moment. And then a thought starts to form in the back of my head. "Michael, ma'am, would you be upset if I wanted to learn to do tattoos? Or body piercing? Something along those lines maybe?"
I weather her steady gaze, fighting the urge to fidget under that intense stare. "Is that something you'd like to do?"
"I think so," I reply slowly. "I mean, I've watched you putting the Sword tattoo on everyone that's a part of the organization. And that means that it's an important job to get those tattoos. And maybe I'd get a little more respect from the Swords because I'd be the one marking them?"
Her considerate gaze narrows. "Are you saying there are people among my Swords who don't respect you? Who are they?"
"No, Michael, that's not the point here."
"I think it's exactly the point, luv." Gabe's voice from the doorway surprises the hell out of me and I jump up from the couch as if I've been shocked. "Answer the question, Pai."
I stare back and forth and feel frustrated tears fill my eyes. "You're ganging up on me," I reply defensively, arms crossing over my chest. "You want me to get somebody in trouble for treating me like I should be."
"Sangria," Michael growls, and Gabe just watches me with an almost disappointed look on his face. "What did I tell you about that?"
My frustration gets the best of me and I can't get the words out. Gabe sighs softly and comes into the room to pull me into his arms, stroking and comforting me. "Come on, luv, relax," he says in that low, gentle tone that has always made me feel safe and important. "Are the big kids picking on you?"
I hiccup something between a sob and a laugh at his question, and lean into him. "Sometimes," I finally reply. "It's just… Sometimes it feels like they're just being nice to me because I'm the boss's pet. I mean, I've seen them do it to Leslie, too, but I guess he doesn't mind it as much as I do. I work hard when I have something to do, and outside of you two, and Ian, and Ben, there's not a lot of people that seem to take me seriously."
"Is that the reason you want to go to university? To find a way to garner that respect you deserve?" When I nod, he presses a kiss to my forehead. "That's an excellent reason, but like Michael said, it's going to be a lot of hard work to go to university. You won't be able to have quite as much fun. You know, some of those professors are even so sadistic as to hold classes at seven o'clock in the morning."
I pull back to stare at him, and I can see the mischievous glint in his warm eyes. "You're teasing me, Gabe."
"Scout's honor that I'm not lying," he replies with a grin. "There are classes that early. But if it's what you want to do, Michael and I will take care of any paperwork you need to get that education you want. Deal?"
I glance back and forth between Michael and Gabe. These two people saved me from a nothing life of hell and danger. They finagled me into the country so that I could have a chance. They gave me a place to live, a job, and a safe way to grow up in so many ways. They've given me their trust and their approval, and the least I can do to repay them for giving me this life is making it better. "Deal. I'll do my best to make you both proud of me."
"We already are, luv. We already are."
